The Freedom to Exist in Private
After a frazzled week of packaging up everything we own, carrying heavy boxes into a Uhaul until my entire body ached, organizing a going-away party for all our Philly friends, boarding a plane with our cat Ginsburg and hoping she’d make it to Portland without having an anxiety-induced heart attack, it was strange to wake up Sunday morning all alone and with nothing to do. I felt relief, to be back on the West Coast and to hopefully never have to carry a sofa-bed down a flight of stairs ever again in my life.
When I rolled over and checked my phone, it turned out to be 6AM. Wherever my brain was, my body was still on East Coast time, so I got up and walked outside. A thick fog shrouded the front lawn. Portland in the mornings always looks like a murder mystery that hasn’t been written yet. It’s spooky and suspiciously gorgeous. A gray cloud sat low on the street that was now my street, so thick that I couldn’t even see the stop sign half a block away. On the ground was a blue splash of color: The New York Times. I picked up the issue and decided to walk until I found a coffee shop that was open, which wasn’t far. A crowd of early morning regulars was there, not discussing the Eagles like they would have been in Philly, but gabbing about tax rebates for environmentally friendly home renovations.
Nobody knew me, I had nowhere to go and nothing I was supposed to be doing. So I read the paper from beginning to end, the entire five pounds of print. In a column about the importance of libraries, a line by Amy Tan jumped out at me: “My first library gave me the freedom to exist in private.” She could privately choose whatever book she wanted and then it would take her away to a world just in her head. It made me think about what I share publicly and what I don’t. Part of me wants to photograph every step of the journey from East Coast to West Coast, to post all the little details that make Portland feel like home, to talk about my relationships and my friendships and my identity. But also, it’s nice to have the freedom to exist in private. Some moments are just for me.
STUFF I MADE
Zines - I’m working my way through making 30 zines in 30 days. In response to the leaked report that the Trump Administration will try to roll back protections for millions of transgender and intersex Americans, I made a little zine about six ways to practice being a trans ally. At an event I organized this week at a comics shop in Portland, I asked people to donate in exchange for this zine and raised $100 for the Transgender Law Center. If you’d like a copy, make a donation and I’ll be happy to mail you one!
UPCOMING EVENTS
Seattle - The first weekend in November, I'll be tabling for The Nib at Short Run comics fest, the indie comics jewel of the Pacific Northwest! If you're in Seattle, come check out Short Run. It's a FREE, all-ages gathering of comics nerds and zine makers at Seattle Center on November 3rd.
Miami - The Miami Book Fair invited me to be on a panel about smutty comics on November 16th. Out of the several hundred panels and workshops at the week-long festival, mine is the only one with a "viewer discretion is advised" warming! I've never been to Miami and don't think I know anyone there... anyone have suggestions for what I should do during a weekend in Miami?
STUFF I LOVE:
Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat - I just moved into a new house here in Portland, but both my partner Ben and all of our possessions are still on the road. That means while I sleep on an old futon, the only things I have to keep me company are Ginsburg and sweet, sweet WIFI. In the chilly dark, I streamed chef Samin Nosrat’s new Netflix show Salt, Fat, Acid, Heat and was warmed to the core by watching Samin travel the world learning about the histories of simple foods and gobbling up bites on camera with unapologetic gusto. Her dispatch on salt from Japan makes me want to pickle some veggies ASAP.
Splitwise - Moving across the country is expensive! And that means it’s very stressful. In the past, partners and I have kept track of who-owes-what by writing down amounts we’ve spent on scraps of paper stuck to the wall and collecting giant envelopes of receipts. But that’s inconvenient and has left us both feeling short-changed. If you’re in any kind of financial-responsibility-sharing relationship, I recommend the app Splitwise. It has helped Ben and me keep track of money without it being a stressor.
Books With Pictures - Huge thanks to Portland women-owned comics shop Books With Pictures for hosting a release party for my erotica graphic novel Open Earth this week! If you’re in Portland, I recommend stopping by the little shop that has an excellently curated comics collection.
Racist Sandwich - Speaking of food, I was way behind on listening to episodes of the podcast Racist Sandwich. I just got caught up! If you’re interested in the intersection of food, class, race, and gender, I recommend starting with this episode featuring Ijeoma Oluo talking about the shame of growing up poor.
Tan France Choosing Outfits for Hasan Minaj - When was the last time I watched a video over three minutes online? Maybe never. But I watched all nine minutes and forty seconds of this adorable video of Queer Eye’s Tan France helping comedian Hasan Minaj get dressed for his new political talk show.
SOMEONE TO KNOW:
Robbie Kraft - @gridpaper
I always knew my friend Robbie liked to fold paper in funny ways, but I didn’t really get it until he started an Instagram for his origami. He’s opened my eyes to the world of appreciating math and coding through paper-folding. Plus, his designs are just mind-blowing.
SOMETHING TO DO
Host a voting party!
In Oregon, our ballots arrive weeks before the election in the mail. Voting by mail, rather than having to take time off work to visit a specific site on election day, helps make elections more accessible. In fact, Oregon ranks first in the nation for best voting access! I love hosting a small voting party every election season: my friends and I bring our ballots to a bar and talk through each issue and candidate while we have a drink. But even sad sacks in the other 49 states can have voting parties (especially if you have an absentee ballot!). Pick a time and a place and get your friends together to talk about what's on the ballot so you're ready to go on election day. (Photo by @caitlinabdavis)
I’ll write to you next week! In the meantime, keep in touch on Instagram and Twitter, okay? If this is your first time seeing this newsletter, you can subscribe here.