🌕 Heavy, But Full 🌕
I’m the kind of person who always stops to read an informational plaque, even on a hike. The most recent plaque I stopped to read was about dead trees. Nothing more exciting than a dead tree informational plaque. Wow. But, I read, dead trees are actually not what you'd expect. They're not waste at all. When a tree dies, its time in the forest ecosystem is just getting started. Dead trees are called snags. Hundreds of birds and cute little mammals make their homes in snags. Actually, the plaque said, ecologists call dead trees “wildlife trees” because they support so much new life.
On the fall Equinox, my friend Katelyn invited me to a backyard potluck. I was feeling too gloomy to socialize. Summer is usually my favorite season. It’s a time of opportunity, of scheming and dreaming and sunshine and spontaneity. But this summer was different. It was hard. It was dark. I got laid off. I got injured. I spent every free moment working on a book that, at its heart, is about how there is no accountability for state-sanctioned violence. Instead of feeling like anything is possible, I felt like maybe nothing was possible. Maybe I’d never write anything good ever again. Maybe I’d never have a job I loved again. Maybe instead of healing, my body would just keep hurting. Maybe instead of getting better, the world would only get worse and worse until we all die. Grim ideas to bring to a potluck.
But I didn’t have a reasonable excuse not to go and I did have a really good ginger cookie recipe. So I found myself with a group of ten or so people sitting around the campfire, eating cookies, admiring the last rays of sunset, and talking about how to impeach the president. Then Katelyn pulled out paper and pens—she had a plan. She asked two questions: What did you cultivate during summer? And what resources do you bring to fall?
What did I cultivate over the summer? I wrote down my answers: Self-doubt, despair, uncertainty. Getting laid off and then injured meant my life hit a major snag. But snags, it turns out, are places of immense growth. Feelings of failure and self-doubt aren’t useless dead wood to be chucked aside. They’re heavy parts of my ecology that are essential for growing anything new. Till them into the soil to fertilize whatever next.
Another friend around the bonfire who also had a hard summer said that going into fall, she was feeling “heavy, but full.” That’s exactly how I feel. Both heavy and full. The resources I bring to Fall come from the summer’s snags: support, new life, and resilience.
Stuff I Made
You Do You - Textbooks on dating and sexuality for teens are often outdated, so I wrote a new one! You might remember me doing a marathon writing session last July to write this book... well now it's real and out in the world! You Do You is a short book on dating, bodies, and sexuality for high school libraries. And it got a starred review in Kirkus: "Highly recommended for teens and the adults who care for them." If you work for a school, library, or other institution, you can pre-order copies from the publisher.
A Comic About Intersex Kids - I wrote this comic about intersex activist Pidgeon Pagonis, illustrated by the talented Archie Bongiovanni. The response after the comic’s publication has been really wonderful—a lot of people tweeted at me that this is the first time they’ve heard about the campaigns to end unnecessary surgeries on intersex kids.
Chaotic Good Prints - In September, I took a class at Outlet on how to make risograph prints. Risographs are sort of like doing screenprinting on a retro photocopier. Because it’s fast and involves bright colors, it’s extremely addictive. I made these Chaotic Good prints to send to Patreon backers, but if I’m also selling them for $5 if you want one!
Stuff I’m Doing
IPRC Print Spree - The Independent Publishing Resource Center in Portland is hosting a print show fundraiser where 20 artists donate prints that then sell for $30 each. Using my very recently acquired risograph skills, I designed a pretty rad print for the event (seen above - thought it will be printed for the event by artist John Akira Harold because I'm traveling!). Come to the event on and raise some money for the IPRC! 10/17, 6:30-9:30pm at Tillamook Station
Trans Folks and Cis Women in Comics Meetup - I’m hosting a happy hour meetup for trans and cis women comics makers! If you make comics of any kind (or are an aspiring comics creator!) come say hi and get a drink. 10/24, 5:30-7:30pm at Woody’s Coffee Tavern (Crush Bar)
Short Run Comix and Arts Festival - This will be my fifth year tabling at Short Run, my favorite comics festival! The one-day FREE indie comics festival fills the Seattle Center with amazing comics artists, zinesters, and illustrators. 11/9, 11am - 6pm, Fisher Pavillion at Seattle Center
Stuff I Love
Spooky Stamps - Yes, I did pre-order six sheets of these stamps. I love mail more than anything.
Seattle Walk Report - I just found out about this very nicely drawn series documenting the weird and surprisingly lovely stuff artist Susanna Ryan encounters when walking around Seattle’s many neighborhoods. I like how she cleanly fits so much information into a single drawing. Check out @seattlewalkreport and Susanna's brand-new book.
Fat Fancy - The owners of this body-positive boutique in Portland sort through vintage stores and thrift shops to find the best clothes, sizes 12 and up. As a large person, I like shopping in their store because absolutely everything is cute and they tag their clothes with color-coded sizes like “pink” and “purple” rather than a number… so you can pick what fits without stressing out about being defined by a number.
Queer Heartbreak Comics - I picked up copies of two new comics that instantly became two of my favorite reads this year: Archie Bongiovanni’s slice-of-life comic following lovable queer dirtbags, Grease Bats, and Mariko Tamaki and Rosemary Valero-O’Connell’s gorgeously illustrated book about intense teen relationships, Laura Dean Keeps Breaking Up With Me.
Cooking Risotto - Because I’ve been working as a freelancer for the last couple months, I have a lot of time at home to procrastinate on work. Making risotto is the best way to procrastinate! It’s not complicated, it just takes a long time. I’ve been making this killer vegan risotto with edamame in it from the cookbook One-Dish Vegan. I can’t find that recipe online, but here’s a similar one.
Engrossing and Depressing History - I just finished two heavy but very good books on recent history: a collection of oral histories from survivors of Chernobyl collected by Svetlana Alexievich (which was the basis for the recent HBO series) and Say Nothing, a compelling account of violence in Northern Ireland during the Troubles.
The Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Instagram - The perfect follow-up to reading about murder and nuclear meltdowns is watching endless videos of adorable sea otters.
Someone to Know
An artist whose work I’ve been thinking about a lot is Alexandra Bell. Her work examines how media coverage shapes current narratives and historical memory about race and politics. I first came across her work when I was walking about Brooklyn on a spring day and came across a giant front page of the New York Times wheatpasted to a brick wall—but instead of the regular front page, this one had been altered to represent its main subject, Michael Brown, in a different light. This installation was part of Bell’s series “Counternarratives,” where she rearranges New York Times pages to show the impact of editors’ choices in the headlines and images. I’ve started thinking about this series every time I pick up a print copy of the paper. Check out Alexandra Bell’s work on Instagram and on her site.
Something to Do
Climate Strike protest sign as photographed by Mmuseumm in the New Yorker.
Stay Involved in Climate Activism!
I went to the climate strike on September 20th and it was so, so heartwarming to see thousands of teenagers coming together to fight for environmental action. When I was in high school, there were no mass protests like this—it was all about recycling your soda cans and cutting up six pack rings, not taking action to create systemic change. The climate strike website has info on what’s coming up next in each region of the world, so I signed up for their newsletter to find out about future actions and how I can pitch in.
I’ll write again next month! In the meantime, you can keep in touch on Instagram or Twitter. Is this your first time receiving this newsletter? You can see the archive here. If you want to support my work on Patreon, I'll mail you zines! :D