Atheist Mitzvahs
I was reading about the school shooting, feeling like my heart would stop, when my friend Alex showed up at my house with a Valentine. I met Alex on Valentine’s Day 12 years ago, when he was sitting alone in a basement crafting meticulous cards and I stopped to admire his handiwork. Now, we live in the same city and he stopped by (just one day late) with a laser-cut little wooden owl. On the back, he wrote, “Owl always love you.” I hung it on the fridge and felt like crying. How can the world be so stupidly cruel and so stupidly lovely at the same time?
When things are bleak and out of my control, I do what Alex did and try to be more generous and kind in the things I can control. I write letters to friends, I make a welcome card for my new neighbors, I gift tiny presents, I buy coffee for strangers, I call, I volunteer, I donate. Although I’m not Jewish, I think of these things as mitzvahs—good deeds done just for the sake of it. Although I don't do these things to get something back in return, I have gotten a lot of friends from going out of my way to be helpful and kind. Being more generous and more kind makes the things in my sphere a little better, I hope, even if the world is filled with random acts of horror. Performing atheist mitzvahs beats staring into the endless void. I’ve been using the word “mitzvah” for years but only this week I did some reading about its history. I was surprised to find it doesn’t just mean going a good deed, it means connection. It’s related to an Aramaic word meaning “attach or join.” As one scholar describes it, mitzvah is “the state of being connected.” I realized that’s the idea behind my redoubling of generosity—to feel connected to other people when the world is extra-alienating.
Last weekend, I picked up a book I’ve been meaning to for months, adrienne marie brown’s Emergent Strategy. I flipped open to the introduction and read this line: “The crisis is everywhere, massive massive massive. And we are small.”
Emergent Strategy is a guide to activism and cultural change that offers a new paradigm for trying to transform the world. Emergence “is another way of speaking about the connective tissue of all that exists—the way, the Tao, the force, change, God/dess, life. Birds flocking, cells splitting fungi whispering underground. Emergence emphasized critical connections over critical mass, building authentic relationships, listening with all the senses of the body and mind.”
That’s the state of connectedness—building relationships around us, to root us together, because, yeah, the crisis is big and we are small, small, small.
THIS WEEK'S COMIC
What's your favorite scene in Planet Earth II? I think mine is the parkour monkeys.
STUFF I MADE
Graphic Novel - Exciting news! The weird sci-fi graphic novel I wrote is now available for pre-order! Open Earth is a cute, romantic story about polyamory on a space station after the climate collapse of Earth. Warning: It is very sexy. It's not for everyone. It's definitely 18+. There are short shorts, big boobs, and a fantasy about eating a cheeseburger. You can see a sneak peek of the book here and pre-order a copy here (it doesn't come out until September... so long to wait...).
STUFF I LOVE
Gun Control - This comic by Pia Guerra nails the fear and anger that’s part of our lives. Mass shootings aren’t inevitable. They don’t happen most places. Here are six American gun-control organizations you can support.
The Sympathizer - I devoured Viet Thanh Nguyen’s experimental and epic story about Vietnamese refugees’ relationship to America, war, history, and each other. It blows my mind that a book can be this good. He builds a sweeping, compelling narrative arc out of precise, detailed sentences. It’s like building the Golden Gate Bridge out of individually crafted toothpicks. And while it explores the horrors of war, he sneaks in many, many word-nerd jokes. My favorite line is when he describes the dark 4am hours between night and dawn as the day’s “perineum.”
Black Panther - Black Panther opens today and I’m very excited to see it! Do yourself a favor and get a ticket.
Fixing Media Gender Imbalances - I like this science reporter’s candid account of recognizing that he was quoting mostly men in his articles and his data-powered work to keep himself accountable to shifting that imbalance.
Questioning Rich People - Behind every “self-made genius” are several hundred hard-working people who don’t get enough credit. A style guide for writing about the rich.
Bingo Love - Ben and I stopped by Amalgam Comics in North Philly for a cup of coffee and to peruse the shelves. I picked up this interesting looking graphic novel, Bingo Love, a romantic story about two women who fall in love as teenagers and then again as senior citizens. Over my shoulder, someone said, “That’s a good book.” I turned around and who should be there but the comic’s author, Tee Franklin! We talked for a while about Bingo Love and I bought the copy I was holding. It’s such a cute story!
Shop Destruya - I don’t have a sweet story about meeting anyone involved in this little online shop, but I do just want to light one of these candles this week and every week.
SOMEONE TO KNOW
Hoda Katebi is an Iranian-American fashion blogger who came across my radar this week because she dealt brilliantly with a clearly racist local TV news interview. While she was on TV to promote her new book about Tehran street style, one of the hosts asked her about nuclear weapons policy and then the other host said she didn't sound American. Yikes! I don't know anything about Iranian fashion, so her Instagram is a cool window into that world.
SOMETHING TO DO
Suggest a book your library should buy! It's hard for librarians to keep abreast of every new title, especially ones from small publishers that don't have a big marketing budget. Recently, I filled out the snail-mail paperwork asking the Philadelphia library system to buy copies of Meanwhile Elsewhere: Science Fiction and Fantasy from Transgender Writers (Topside Press). This week, a librarian emailed me good news: they're going to buy several copies! If I'd bought a copy for myself, just I would read it. Now, hundreds of people get to read the collection. Nice!
Bonus Photo to Make You Laugh Because This Week Was Unbelievably Sad:
I would watch that Netflix cyberpunk series, for sure.
I’ll write to you in two weeks! In the meantime, keep in touch on Instagram and Twitter, okay? If this is your first time seeing this newsletter, you can subscribe here.